iPhone 5: Only Relevant Because People Don’t Know Better

iPhone 5. A relic of an earlier era.

With today’s announcement of the iPhone 5 we finally got an official look and the new best seller from Apple. Sadly it failed to impress. I say that not as a reformed Apple fanboy. I say that from the aspect that, for educated consumers, there is nothing here that has that special wow-sauce.
Maybe it’s the the fact that everyone pretty much already knew what to expect from the iPhone 5. Photos of the new chassis have been leaking for months. Part of the fun of the seeing the new iPhone has always been the mystery that surrounded the iPhone being swept away by Steve Jobs.

Maybe it’s the fact that Steve Jobs is no longer here. There is no doubt that he was one of the most captivating figures in the tech world while he lived. The tech world often referred to his reality distortion field as a real thing, because it was. He could take something that had already been around before and make it, dare I say it, magical.

Maybe it’s the fact that the iPhone 5 is still bogged down by cheesy, outdated skeuomorphic designs that are almost insulting to the intelligence of the consumer. In a patronizing way, those rounded square icons say, “Your not smart enough to figure out what I am on your own. That’s why I look like I was designed by Fisher-Price.”

The the dissonance between the iPhone 5’s user interface and the device’s hipster aspirations is jarring at the very least.

Yet the iPhone 5 will sell like it’s predecessors before it. Millions upon millions of people will snatch this device almost as it hits the shelf. All the while, Apple fanboys will man their online parapets and defend the iPhone’s design and features almost to the death. Their rallying cry of “It just works!” will echo throughout their web kingdom, carrying with it that ever present sense of smugness. Android and Windows Phone 8 fanboys will inevitably storm the forums with cry’s of “WTF? We’ve had that for [insert time frame here] already!”

The iPhone 5 is relevant because of what it is. An iPhone. A relic of a time when the only game in town came from Cupertino. People will buy the iPhone not because of stunning design or killer specs or brand new features. No, people will buy an iPhone because it is an iPhone in the same way Democrats vote for Democrats because Democrats vote for Democrats. It’s just what people do. Lest I start a political flame war in the comments, I should say Republicans are guilty of the same thing. The iPhone is only relevant because people don’t know better.

Shame on them.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below.

Kenny Larson
Onetime Apple/Android/Windows fanboy. Now a firm agnostic when it comes to OS. They all suck in their own special way.

"Be excellent to each other."
--Bill & Ted

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